#13 - Happy One Year of Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time
AKA "this newsletter actually isn't even about the anniversary of itself, sorry"
PROLOGUE
As you may or may not know, February is one of my favorite months of the year. First of all, it’s Valentine’s Day, which makes the whole month a holiday for a candy and pink-loving woman like me. Second of all, it’s the month in which my beloved agent was born (hi, Emily!) as well as two of my dear friends (hi, Ashia and Mel!) and a cousin (hi, Abigail!). Third of all, it’s basically the last month of winter, which means the sun will return to me soon, which is especially great right now because I’m in a sexy French depression. But more on that later.
For the new year, I decided to pick ten books from my TBR and ban myself from reading anything else until I finished one and could trade it out. This has been surprisingly effective, as I’ve already finished two. Currently, I am on the third, The Encyclopaedia of Emily Wilde by Heather Fawcett, which is a charming, cozy delight. In the meantime, I’m addicted to Chloë’s new song “Pray it Away”, and I’m back on my Project Runway: All Stars bullshit.
This month might be one focused on romantic love, but I think February is a perfect excuse to celebrate all the different kinds of love in our life. The love of friends, the love of family, and the love of self. Make sure you do something for yourself this week and beyond. And, if you want to do something for me, add my book!
CHAPTER 1: POP CULTURE MOMENT OF THE MONTH
One of my favorite parts of a very controversial awards season is that Viola Davis became an EGOT winner. While winning an Emmy for How to Get Away with Murder, Viola Davis famously said, “The only thing that separates women of color from anyone else is opportunity. You cannot win an Emmy for roles that are simply not there.” I’m no actor, theater kid background aside, but that resonated with me so much as an author.
Time and time again, we see that publishing is overwhelmingly white both behind and on the page. And yet last week’s New York Times bestseller list featured How to be a (Young) Anti-Racist (nonfiction), The Davenports (historical fiction), and The First to Die at the End (speculative fiction). The Indie Bestsellers List featured all of the above plus Legendborn and Bloodmarked (contemporary fantasy), Braiding Sweetgrass for Young Adults: Indigenous Wisdom, Scientific Knowledge, and the Teachings of Plants (nonfiction), Highly Suspicious and Unfairly Cute (rom-com), All My Rage (contemporary). This should, if nothing else, prove that there is a market for a broad range of stories by authors of color, but my friends and I often talk about how publishing only opens the door for a certain kind of story — if they open the door at all.
Seeing Viola Davis hit that EGOT — and at 57, no less, an age people commonly think is “too late” to achieve anything — was so inspirational for me as a Black woman in a creative field. It’s never too late. The only thing that separates us from anyone else is opportunity. And I may not be writing to win awards, but even if I was? I can’t if I’m not given a fair opportunity. Hard work only goes so far without recognition, and the unbalanced nature of the publishing world is always worth calling out and improving as I aim to live my best EGOT-winner Viola Davis life.
CHAPTER 2: WHEN LIFE GETS IN THE WAY
As I said above, I’ve been in a sexy French depression. Usually, I’m able to pull myself out of seasonal depression funks, but this one has gone on for longer than most. I’ll start a book, then lose interest. I’ll come up with a WIP idea, then lose interest. I’m noticeably more down on myself than usual. Even moments of joy — I’ve seen my cover sketch! I met my friend Lauren in person for the first time! I got to take my cousin around the city for her birthday! — never seem to last long before the numbness sets in.
But that’s between myself and my therapist. Let’s talk about self-care.
I’m the kind of person who tends to retreat when I’m not feeling 100%. I’ll tweet less, I’ll let days pass without answering texts (…OK, I do that anyway, but), I’ll cancel plans and stay in bed mindlessly playing Disney Dreamlight Valley. The fear of “being a burden” is real. I don’t want to talk about it; I want to talk about anything BUT it. But I’m also the kind of person who never gives herself the same grace she extends to other people. You’re being annoying. People are counting on you. Cheer up, bitch. That sort of thing. So in the middle of this funk, I had to learn less about self-care and more about self-kindness.
Which is where Valentine’s Day comes in. Even though I’ve never had a date for it, I loooove Valentine’s Day. It’s the ultimate “Treat Yourself’ day to me. I’ll buy myself flowers. I’ll watch a rom-com marathon. The day after, I’ll buy all the discount candy and spend weeks eating it. I’ll dress in pink, my favorite color, and I’ll remind my friends I love them (…OK, I do that anyway, but). This year I’ve decided the person that needs the most love is myself. So this month I’ve been doing affirmations every day. You are loved. You are funny. Your smile is amazing. It’s horrifically embarrassing and I cringe at myself, but I have noticed an uptick in my mood.
When I feel low, it’s so easy to bring myself even lower. Too easy. But if I can’t find happiness in the things that used to bring me joy, I figure it’s time that I start finding happiness in being myself. Congratulating myself on how far I’ve come today, even if it’s just getting out of bed. Admiring the smile that, some days, feels out of reach. That sort of thing. I’m no expert, of course, on bad brain times. I just know what works for me. But if you’re reading this during your own bad brain time, you matter. I’m glad you’re here. Buy yourself some chocolates for Valentine’s day to thank yourself for existing.
You deserve it, I promise.
CHAPTER 3: HAVE A LITTLE PODCAST, AS A TREAT
Nothing says Valentine’s Day like Parcast’s Criminal Couples podcast miniseries, am I right?
CHAPTER 4: THE REC ROOM
Welcome to the Rec Room, the section of my newsletter that I use to highlight books coming out each month I’m really excited about. For February, we have…
SHE IS A HAUNTING by Trang Tranh Tran
When Jade Nguyen arrives in Vietnam for a visit with her estranged father, she has one goal: survive five weeks pretending to be a happy family in the French colonial house Ba is restoring. But the house has other plans. Night after night, Jade wakes up paralyzed. She finds curious traces of her ancestors in the gardens they once tended. And at night Jade can’t ignore the ghost of the beautiful bride who leaves her cryptic warnings: Don’t eat. Neither Ba nor her sweet sister Lily believe that there is anything strange happening. With help from a delinquent girl, Jade will prove this house—the home her family has always wanted—will not rest until it destroys them.
THE WICKED BARGAIN by Gabe Cole Novoa
On Mar León-de la Rosa's 16th birthday, el Diablo comes calling. Mar is a transmasculine nonbinary teen pirate hiding a magical ability to manipulate fire and ice. But their magic isn't enough to reverse a wicked bargain made by their father and now el Diablo has come to collect his payment: the soul of Mar's father and the entire crew of their ship. When Mar is miraculously rescued by the sole remaining pirate crew in the Caribbean, el Diablo returns to give them a choice: give up your soul to save your father by the Harvest Moon or never see him again.
CHAPTER 5: LOOK AT MY CAT!!!
As you may know, I adopted a shelter cat in December 2021, who I named Sora Mittens. I don’t even have an introduction for this photo. She’s just. So cute. And next month is her fifth birthday!
EPILOGUE
Thank you for subscribing and/or for sticking around! I hope you like rambles, shenanigans, and nonsense, because that’s truly all this is. I hope you have an absolutely lovely holiday, and see you all next month!
To my Valentine...love you and happy to see you self care!!
Love this and love you!!!! 💙💙💙