#30 - It's Hoa Hoa Hoa Season & I'm Celebrating By Staying Inside

AKA "burnout is so real, you guys"

PROLOGUE

It’s October, which means that 2024 is over in just over two months. If I had to come to that realization, then so do you. This is also going to be my second full month in the Pacific Northwest, and, let me tell you, moving (twice!) while meeting four deadlines, dealing with sickness, and also flying to Arkansas for a (lovely!) book festival took so much out of me that I’ve hardly left my apartment to prperly explore my new city and see my friends who live here.

I’m hoping by the time of my next newsletter, I’ll have more to say on that front. But for now I’m still falling asleep a lot as I celebrate having just hit my final deadline a couple of days ago.

With no writing hanging over my head, I’ve been catching up on books I’ve been asked to blurb. I just finished The Maiden and Her Monster by Maddie Martinez, and next up is The Serpent Called Mercy by Roanne Lau. Sabrina Carpenter’s new album is still on repeat, and I’ve been watching a lot of Project Runway: All Stars for no real reason except that it’s on and I love it. I don’t even have the mental and emotional energy to watch the new season of Heartstopper, which is how you know I’m burnt out.

I hope you’re all having a good month! Let’s get into it.

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CHAPTER 1: LAST EVENT OF THE YEAR

If you’re in or around Redmond, WA, on Tuesday, October 8, please come to Amanda M. Helander’s launch event for her debut fantasy, Divine Mortals. I’ll be in conversation with her to celebrate this clever, voicey, expansive young adult novel, and I’ll also be bringing some exclusive prints of Faron and Elara from So Let Them Burn with me to give out!

This will be my final in-person event of 2024, so I’d love to see more readers before I go full hermit. Because, believe me, I am definitely going to go full hermit. See below.

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CHAPTER 2: KNOWING YOUR LIMITS

My name is Kamilah Cole, and I am bad at setting boundaries. It is my default to say yes to everything, to try to make everything work, to give of myself, my time, and my energy until I have none left—and to keep giving even then. My closest friends know this to the point where they end up saying no FOR me, because they know if they ask I will always say yes, and the times I’ve been able to say “I’m sorry but I can’t do that” and stick with it have been few and far between. My therapist laments, as we’ve been working on this for years and years.

Anyway, I wanted to start there because I am finally at the end of all of my engagements for the year, and I am so burnt out that I am taking 15 hour naps. I repeat: I will go down for a nap and wake up 15 hours later. I’ve also been to the ER not once but twice this year, only for them to tell me I am physically fine but mentally or emotionally exhausted/stressed. It’s been three decades, and I still don’t know my limits. I want to make everyone around me so happy all the time.

Am I happy? Well, I have no idea. I’m usually working too hard to think about it.

The thing about publishing, though, is that it feels like a sprint but it’s actually a marathon. Everything you’re doing or not doing feels like the most momentous thing in the world. This book, this post, this opportunity. If you don’t do the most, you’ll never get the chance again. You’ll fail. You’ll disappear. You’ll be hated. It’s even harder as a BIPOC, for which the opportunities are fewer and further between to begin with.

But that’s just not true. SO LET THEM BURN just came out in January 2024, and from 2023 to 2024 I said yes to everything I could. And despite upheavals in my personal life and hospital trips, I only cancelled three things total. Now, as I reckon with my final event of the year and the fact that my debut year is coming to a close, I’m thinking about sustainability. I’m thinking about being hale and healthy enough to promote the four books I have coming out next year (SO LET THEM BURN’s paperback, THIS ENDS IN EMBERS, THE SECRET ROMANTIC’S BOOK OF MAGIC, and AN ARCANE INHERITANCE)—not to mention in the years after that. I’m thinking of all the incredible opportunites that have opened up for me beyond my debut, and I’m thinking of the part of me that will never stop being a people pleaser but needs to learn that one of the people she should be pleasing is herself.

And I’m using this space to tell you: you don’t have to do everything or be everything. You matter, too. It’s okay to say no and hope—even expect—that whoever you’re drawing boundaries with will understand and respect them. And maybe don’t wait until your body shuts down for 15 hours at a time to learn these lessons, ahem.

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CHAPTER 3: THE REC ROOM

Welcome to the Rec Room, the section of my newsletter that I use to highlight books coming out each month I’m really excited about. For October, we have…

IF I STOPPED HAUNTING YOU by Colby Wilkens

An enemies to lovers romance with a spooky twist where two feuding Native writers end up on a writers retreat together at a haunted castle in Scotland. Full of spooky chills and even more sexy thrills, If I Stopped Haunting You by Colby Wilkens is the funny, fast-paced romp romance readers have been waiting for.

THE DARK BECOMES HER by Judy I. Lin

Judy I. Lin, #1 New York Times bestselling author of A Magic Steeped in Poison, ventures into horror with Rick Riordan Presents in this a sinister tale of the supernatural, sisterhood, and the shadows that rule our darkest desires. Perfect for fans of Ryan La Sala and Trang Thanh Tran.

THE DIVIDING SKY by Jill Tew

Serpent & Dove meets Arcane in this dystopian romance debut that follows a cunning memory merchant who deals a little extra happiness on the side and the handsome rookie officer on her tail.

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CHAPTER 4: LOOK AT MY COSTUME!!!

Yes, I know you were expecting a picture of my cat, but I bought a Halloween costume for the first time in a couple of years and I’m obsessed with how I look in it. Hi, Barbie!

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EPILOGUE

Thank you for subscribing and/or for sticking around! I hope you like rambles, shenanigans, and nonsense, because that’s truly all this is. It’s that beautiful spooky season that I love so much, so eat something pumpkin or apple flavored, watch a beloved horror movie or read a beloved horror book, and be kind to each other.